


The Banana Problem

by nebulein



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Bananas, Ficlet, Jared likes bananas, Jensen has a problem, M/M, Pining, Sexual Frustration, Silly, bordering on crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-02
Updated: 2006-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-03 05:50:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4089343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nebulein/pseuds/nebulein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared likes bananas and Jensen thinks it's fucking obscene.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Banana Problem

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: this is purely fictional, any resemblance to living persons is, ahem, purely coincidental. please don't sue.
> 
> So moonythestrals and I got talking about Jared and bananas and I might've mentioned that I had written something about it. Naturally, she didn't rest until I had it typed up. This is what I amuse myself with when math lessons are especially boring.
> 
> Beta by the lovely exsequar.

Jared likes bananas and Jensen thinks it's fucking obscene. Never mind that Jared could probably wolf down a whole banana in one big gulp, that's not how this works. No, Jared that bastard has to savor each and every bite of it. It starts with his happy grin when he slowly peels off the skin and stops with Jared sucking off his fingers afterwards, making sure that absolutely no atom of the banana escaped him. He's eating each banana as if it were the last on earth, conveniently ignoring the fact that catering always has a whole friggin bowl of long, golden bananas just waiting for Jared to devour them. Apparently, Jensen is not the only one who noticed Jared's taste.

The thing about Jared eating bananas is, it doesn't matter how often Jensen hides in the bathroom secretly jerking off in those five minute breaks. Watching Jared eating a banana gets him all hot and bothered. Every. Single. Time. Jensen has long lost count of how often Jared's made him sport a boner on set, like a fucking high school boy that hasn't learned full control over his body yet. And the worst thing is, there is no escape.

Jensen thinks he might scream out loud in frustration soon, or possibly just lock himself up in his trailer and have a good private cry. He's tried everything. His first instinct was to flee the scene, but unfortunately his presence is pretty much always required on set and Jensen'd come up with less excuses in a month than Jared eats bananas in a week. The last time he simply snuck away, Kim found him hiding under the make-up trailer ten minutes later, giving him a look Jensen certainly didn't care to ever receive again. So maybe he always lost when they were playing hide-and-seek as kids. He bets Kim loved that stupid game.

That evening Chris told a despairing Jensen on the phone to simply look away, but Jensen has started to believe there might be a physics law making it actually impossible not to look when Jared eats bananas. He only has to catch a glimpse of yellow fruit in Jared's hand and Jensen is lost, compelled to look as Jared lets the banana disappear into his mouth with half-closed eyes and an expression of such pure bliss on his face, you could almost believe Jared was in a different place entirely. Jensen swears Jared has the eyes of everybody around, women _and_ men, on him when he does that shit.

In a desperate last attempt at saving his peace of mind, Jensen even tried talking Jared into apples, but somehow seeing Jared's big paws wrapped around those orbs didn't help matters any. After four days Jared suffered through a bad case of diarrhea and switched back to bananas. Jensen didn't know whether to feel defeated or relieved. In the end he went to the next bar, getting royally drunk, and only stopped when the empty beer bottles started to turn into dancing bananas before his eyes.

So how many of these can any normal person eat in a day, anyways? Jensen wonders. It might be some prehistoric ape gene in Jared, he suspects, final proof of the evolutionary theory. Or maybe Jared's subconscious was trying to tell him he was actually gay. Jensen tried mocking Jared for it once, pointing out over lunch one day the obvious connotation of a guy like him eating fruit like that. But Jared only grinned, locked eyes with Jensen and made a show of it, swirling his tongue lasciviously around the tip before sucking it into his mouth, hollowed cheeks, pouty lips, seductive smirk _around the banana_ and all. The whole damn time he didn't break his stare, mocking Jensen as if he knew exactly what was going on in his pants, daring him to do something about it.

Jensen's cock twitches at the mere memory of it.

Of course he'd excused himself and practically fled from the table, jerking off in his trailer immediately afterwards, biting down on his fist to muffle the groan when he came. He's almost managed to suppress the memory that he was actually already on his second go when Eric knocked on his door, telling him they were ready to re-shoot the action scene in five. High school boy galore.

So what if Jensen wants to fuck his co-star in every possible way until they both pass out. Heck, he's come to terms with that a long time ago. The thing that really drives him over the edge is that ever since Jared found out about his banana eating effects on Jensen (yeah, how about _you_ try hiding a hard-on in those friggin tight jeans Dean wears with no cafeteria tables around), he's come to eat twice as many bananas as before. Jensen swears one day he'll bring that smug fucker down, and when he does there'll be vegetables involved.


End file.
